Taking a Break

Posted on Wed Jan 22nd, 2025 @ 2:57pm by Lieutenant Commander Sofia Nikedoros & Lieutenant Gunnar Arnason

2,094 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: What Lies Ahead, Between, and Behind
Location: Roof of Residence Building
Timeline: after 'Frosted Cupcakes'

As a Chaplain, Nikedoros avoided engaging in gossip, but as a Counselor, she'd be remiss to completely ignore it. So, having checked everywhere else, she left the lift and turned up the short flight of stairs leading to the roof. Sure enough the bit of light she'd caught as she walked to the building was the glow of a fire pit, one placed up here in anticipation of social gatherings in much warmer weather. The cold however seemed to be no deterrent for the single figure sprawled in a patio chair, one boot propped on the concrete border containing the flames and head tilted over the back, staring up at the night sky. She couldn't see his face, but bits of gold and red the flickers of flame picked out in his beard were identifying enough. That, and the fact that his coat was hanging open.

"Do you mind company, Mr. Arnason?"

Gunnar's head lifted slightly at the sound of someone approaching, then fell back into position as he recognized the voice. Besides, she was the only one who ever called him 'Mr. Arnason' - a form adopted in counseling because of the manipulative way his captor's had used his given name, though now he took it as a signal the question was more than mere courtesy. "You're always welcome, Chaplain, but are you sure you want to risk being seen with me?"

Sofia chuckled softly as she took one of the seats nearby. "I hardly think you're a risk to my reputation."

"Maybe not," he admitted, returning to gazing distantly at the stars. "Anyone who thought it through would assume you're trying to save my soul."

"I've never felt yours was in all that dire a need of saving," she remarked, leaning forward to warm her hands. "Besides, anyone who thought it through would realize that assuming you're some sort of Lothario because you turned down a woman's rather blatant advances is preposterous."

He glanced over at her wryly. "Then we're both in trouble, because there seem to be a lot of people not thinking things through."

Sofia laughed. "It wouldn't be the first time, now would it? How many times did you have to go rescue someone who imagined they could go wander about despite having no experience with extreme cold? Or explain that wishful thinking is not a particularly good defense against viral infection?"

"Too many," Gunnar sighed. "But this isn't quite the same."

"I suppose not," she conceded, studying him for a moment. Anyone would be uneasy if a near stranger had investigated their past and personal life as thoroughly as Valriya apparently had his, but for a person who'd been through what he had it could easily have been much more distressing. Add in the fact that he'd never particularly enjoyed being an object of attention but after being held captive where any attention drawn was likely to result in abuse, it had become genuinely uncomfortable. So when she'd heard the all buzz and rumors at the hospital she'd been worried. However, while he looked downcast, he seemed weary rather than unnerved. That was considerably better than she'd feared.

Still, Gunnar practically lived at the hospital and today he'd left early. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"I do know how to make an appointment." The words came out more harshly than intended. Gunnar frowned - one more thing he couldn't express properly today. "Sorry. I appreciate that you care, but as you can see, I'm only looking at the stars - not free-climbing without a safety, or trying trick ski jumps, or getting drunk and going home with strangers. Obviously," he added, with more than a touch of irony.

"Obviously," Sofia agreed, compressing her lips. He had the training to know those were symptoms, and that even understanding of symptoms was little help in the face of a breakdown from severe trauma. But in some ways that made it worse - he couldn't quite forgive himself for not using that knowledge to cope better. "You know I'd never have asked you to come here and take this on if I thought you were still prone to any of that."

"And yet, you felt the need to come check on me..."

She contained a frustrated sigh. It didn't help that he also had a self-reliant streak a parsec wide. "If I had something as minor as the common cold, you'd drop by to check on me, and you know it. This is no different. Just because it isn't major doesn't mean it isn't bothering you." She leaned in, lifting her brows at him. "You don't have to handle anything short of a real crisis on your own, you know."

"I know. " His lips curled down, but the frown was directed inward. There had been any number of discussions with the Counselor - and Divash, and T'Ango, and others - about always being willing to help anyone, but being stubbornly resistant to accepting help himself. He'd thought he'd made some real progress there, but apparently under stress he'd fallen back into old patterns. "I am trying to be less of a difficult patient, but..." his shoulders rolled in a small shrug, "...sometimes it's just easier to go off by myself. And, I know, I can almost hear T'Ango scolding me about 'hiding', but my comm is in my pocket; I'm findable. I'm just... avoiding people."

That struck the Counselor as a distinction without much difference, but it wasn't necessarily an unhealthy response; sometimes people simply needed time alone. "I did ask if you minded company."

Gunnar looked over, offering a half-smile. "You're not the people I'm avoiding."

"I'm glad of that," she said, relieved he hadn't accepted her company out of some sense of obligation. "If it helps, despite whatever comments you got, when it comes to Ms. Valriya, people are on your side. She went way over the line." Honestly, Sofia had half a mind to bring the woman in for a psych eval. That level of investigation practically amounted to stalking. "When you disappeared Lizza was a little concerned there might be a fatal attraction situation." She said it lightly, but at the time the thought had occurred to her that it would be in character for him to go off on his own to avoid putting anyone else at risk.

"No. Is that why you're here?" he chuffed a laugh. "The way she left was a bit ...dramatic... but nothing like that."

"No?" Sofia's brows lifted. "I was told she stabbed a knife into the table."

"Into the table, not into me," Gunnar replied with the unperturbed demeanor of a man accustomed to a lover with built-in claws. "She was upset, humiliated... I thought I was giving her a graceful out by saying I was already involved with someone, but... " He sighed heavily. "She probably expected me to be relieved - thrilled even - that she already knew about Divash and T'Ango, and was perfectly okay with the arrangement." He rocked his head against the back of the chair. "If I'd been at all tempted - and I won't say that I wasn't - that evaporated the moment she mentioned them both by name and said she'd requested video logs... " He cringed, shaking it away with an almost shudder. "I'll admit it was ...disconcerting... but I'm not up here because I'm worried she's some kind of threat."

Sofia studied him, arms crossed on her knee as she considered his response. "Are you sure you're all right? As a chaplain, I appreciate trying to see her side of it; but as a counselor, I can't help but think that it sounds like you've been talking yourself down from freaked out to merely 'disconcerted'."

Gunnar pursed his lips a moment, eyes rolled up as if trying to examine the inside of his own skull. "Fair," he finally pronounced. "But I'm okay. I promise. You know I don't enjoy being the center of attention, and today... it all got to be a little much."

"I think it might have gotten to be a bit much for anyone," she assured and then rubbed her hands over cold thighs, preparing to get up. "Okay, I should probably go tell people you're all right before the fan club tries to break into the building to check on you." The phrase 'fan club' earned a pained look, and she held up a hand, forestalling objections. "I know why you keep denying they're anything but dedicated volunteers, and it's admirable, but it's just the two of us here."

"All right," he conceded. "If anything good came of this, it should have been taking the shine off whatever ridiculous image they had of me."

"Surely you're not that naive about the psychology of teenage girls?" she chided. "At best you've gone from 'dreamy new CMO' to 'Hero with a Troubled Past', which, I hate to tell you, only makes you a more compelling character in their fantasies."

Gunnar pulled a face. "You couldn't just leave me to my happy state of denial?"

"You of all people know better than that," she admonished, albeit with a soft chuckle.

"I suppose I do... " he curled his lips in. "Fine, I admit it. By midday it seemed like every time I turned around, there they were, hovering - like each one was looking for a private opportunity to discuss my 'troubled past'. I tried retreating to my office but Ms. Hutchinson was in there, waiting. She ...hugged me... and I... " wasn't prepared for how nice that felt. He swallowed, looked away. " ...I made an excuse and bolted. I probably could have gone to my quarters, but - and I know this probably sounds like 'spent too much time with Romulans' level of paranoia - I had not expected anyone to be in my office so... Yes, I'm a coward and decided to make myself scarce."

Sofia puffed a laugh - she couldn't help it as the truth hit her: he may have retreated from the teasing and tittering that had followed him all day, what he was really up here hiding from was a flock of love struck teens! "Forgive me, Mr. Arnason. It's just that I've seen you step between an armed marauder and a patient, so the idea that you've fled up here to escape a gaggle of teenage girls..." she suppressed a snicker.

"Go on. I know it's ridiculous." He rolled his hands palms upward in a helpless gesture. "But considering how badly I just failed at turning down one proposition, can you blame me?"

"I suppose not. Though 'hiding' on the roof to avoid them seems a bit extreme. If you're avoiding people, I'd think you could find a warmer place to do it," she added, holding chilled hands out toward the firepit.

Gunnar shrugged, eyes going to back to clear night sky. "I was feeling lonely."

To anyone else that statement coming right after an admission of avoiding people, even those specific people, might have sounded contradictory, but Sofia followed his gaze and understood: somewhere out in that starfield were the people he loved most. "Those stars are all so many lightyears away but seeing them somehow does make the people out there feel closer," she observed quietly. "Did you try comm-ing either of them?"

"T'Ango drops a message through channels when she can, but operational security... " he contained a sighed; he understood, but that didn't necessarily make it easier. "And I have a schedule with Divash, flexible since we're both medical, but if I comm'ed outside it for something like this... well, you'd probably be getting a comm from an Orion worried I was cracking from stress or something."

And seeing her mentally shift you from lover to patient would be counterproductive Sofia didn't say it, judging that that would also be counterproductive right now. "You should take a few days to see her in person. We're through the crisis," she added quickly before he could object. "The hospital will survive a few days without you and quite honestly, afterward it will operate better if you take a nice break to spend time with someone you're missing."

He almost did object, but... she wasn't wrong. "I'll comm her, see if she can meet me for a short leave." He smiled, thinking of seeing her. "And drop a message for T'Ango, just in case she can join us, though I suspect that would take a miracle."

The Chaplain smiled and tipped her head upward. "I'll put a word in."

 

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